I have some downtime, so I have time to relax and just write about what comes to my mind.
I find that’s what’s easiest. When I have nothing else to do but write. That’s when I get the most writing done and the best writing done.
Sadly that doesn’t happen as much as I’d like. Most of the time I’m busy. Busy at work, busy at home, busy with myself. Life can really ramp up unlike its ever done before.
I used to wake up in the morning with an empty e-mail inbox. Now I wake up with at least 5 new unread e-mails. In the grand scheme of things that’s not much, but for what I’m used to that’s immense.
During the day the amount of downtime I have to catch a breath varies greatly. Somedays I can catch around ten deep breaths, letting my body and mind rest before focusing again.
Then there are some days that I run from sunrise to sunset. Those days are fun: exhilarating and pushing me to my limits. While coding a new feature for GetGlue I’ll be ducking in and out of four IM conversations, checking new e-mail that hits my inbox, responding to a text from my phone, committing new code, reading a new bug report, and switching what album is playing. My mental capacities are pushed to their limits and sometimes they break.
Earlier in my life if I was in this situation I would have freaked out. I would have shut down from the weight of all the responsibility on my shoulders. I’d become paralyzed and unable to decide what my first task should be to lessen my burden.
Now I accept the reality. I understand and welcome the onslaught of work. I realize I’m unable to keep all my tasks in my mind simultaneously, so I let my mind relax: I allow the tasks to ebb into and out of my consciousness, creating room and taking room as is needed. I accept that I may forget a task at that moment (in which case I try to jot down a note) but realize that if I were to attempt to keep everything locked in their mental place my mind would buck like an enraged bull and toss everything astray. So I relax and let things get completed in their due time. No pressure, no problems.
This is one of the wonderful things about riding the train to work. I’m forced to reflect like this. I have nothing to do for an hour and more often than not I choose to write. I love to write, express myself and keep my literary skills nimble. Sometimes I get pangs of regret that my writing has become too simple. I miss the flowery language I’m able to produce when I truly dedicate myself, but that’s language for a different purpose.
Whatever it may the time I spend when I have naught but to rest invigorates my soul and deepens my continuous appreciations. If I don’t reflect and consider that which I experienced then the moment echoes away. Through reflection I deepen the paint strokes of my life, filling in the picture with bold colors and details. When the mural is done I’ll be proud to hang it for all to see.